I have quite the travel bug after a year in Spain, but unfortunately I am low on both funds and free time. So Erin and I used this Saturday to have a fake luxurious get-away. We pretended that we were throwing a bachelorette party for our friend and toured the Montecito Four Seasons and Bacara resorts, checking out their facilities, suites, pools and bar, and of course helping ourselves to their complimentary refreshments in the lobby as well as their SPF 15 lotion by the pool. So this is what it feels like to be rich—free sunscreen!

A horrible photo, but who cares because I’m so relaxed.

We dressed up to make the occasion feel special (and believable), read bridal magazines as we lounged on the comfy chairs by the spa, and were driven around the enormous grounds in a golf cart at the Bacara. To feel really classy we ordered a beer at the pool at sunset (the mixed drinks were far beyond our budget, and even the beer was stretching it, but sometimes one must splurge to achieve social status), and admired the amazing view of the Pacific Ocean. We were wistful that this was all an unattainable reality, until Erin pointed out that the view looked exactly like the bluffs next to the dorms on campus, and so we rejoiced that we attend the most beautiful college in the U.S.

Everything was going great until the bartender took the liberty of keeping the change from my beer, so I would “only have to deal with bills.” While actual wealthy people might be relieved that they wouldn’t be weighed down with coins, I was bitter that he pocketed the very quarters I was going to use for my coin-operated laundry machine. The majority of the guests at the Bacara haven’t done their own laundry since dry cleaning was invented, but us real folks still use quarters and rusty washing machines. With that we snapped back to reality, snuck another refill of ice tea from the lobby on the way out, picked up Erin’s weathered Jetta from the valet service (pretending that our BMW was in the shop), and returned to the student ghetto of Isla Vista, where the juxtaposition of gorgeous ocean views and littered Coors Light cans reminded us that one can live luxuriously and filthily at the same time.

About The Author

Jenny

Jenny Marshall studied Language, Culture, and Society at the University of California Santa Barbara, and now teaches English in Spain. Here she writes about the intersection of language and culture, and lives a life translated by travel.